How to Dismantle Scarcity Illusions and Embrace Abundance with Sarah Walton

Reveal Radio is a podcast where we tackle the obstacles that make being a female entrepreneur harder than it has to be, and dig in to find creative ways to build a business that aligns with our values, supports our well-being and lets us make a positive impact without sacrificing ourselves in the process.

So welcome back to Reveal Radio. I'm with Sarah Walton today and we're going to talk about abundance and, believe it or not, data Is this, isn't that add data? Just that introduction makes me a little uncomfortable.

And the host falls off the chair.

Yeah, hope you understand here. Well, tell us about you first.

Best intro ever, hi, kara, so anyway, yeah, so my name is Sarah Walton and I'm an intuitive business coach. I really believe in gut and instinct when it comes to business. I think it's what really great business owners know. And I'm a sales expert. I love teaching the skill of sales and I call it a skill because I think anyone can learn it and I think we can do it in a way that's very heart centered and with a lot of integrity and love. And I love teaching that to people who've had a hard time making money in their business or they're not sure that it's ethical or doesn't this make me a bad person? So we really dive into money beliefs and what's driving those fears. And I do this because I was raised in an extremely poor household. And sometimes I say that and people go yeah, yeah, okay, like no. There were times where we had half a loaf of bread that my mother had made from scratch and a jar of honey the end. And people go come on, they can't be real. I'm like, no, that's actually real. There were a lot of times that's what we had for dinner. But when I was really little, I saw the nutcracker on the table and I was like, oh my gosh, I have to do that. I don't know what that is, that they're doing on the stage, but I want in and I want to do that. And so, you know, we were super broke, as I was saying. So it's not like dance classes were in my future by any stretch of the imagination. So for those of us that are 355 years old, I learned how to dance by watching MTV. All right, so we're talking Janet Jackson, paula Abdul Dancing with Cartoon Cats. Whatever I was in, it was hot, it was awesome, and the one thing I really really wanted to do was join my high school dance team. That was like a big thing for me. I was raised in a little town outside of Salt Lake City, so the dance team was a big deal. I was so excited and it came time to try out and after many bruises on my knees and a lot of Paula Abdul chair throwing, I made the team. I was very excited, so happy, and I was in this tight-knit community and everybody knew People brought me flowers. It was like this big deal. And then I got the letter that talks about the company jacket and the shoes and the costumes and how much all this is going to cost. And I don't know if you've ever had one of those moments where you like sort of pull away from something and watch yourself go through an experience. You're like, oh, that's happening right now. But that's sort of what reading that letter was like to me, because there was just no way. And I'm watching this dream I've had since watching the Nutcracker. I'm just watching it evaporate. And so what I did? Again, for those of us that are old enough to remember I got a job at the mall, and if you don't know what a mall is because they don't really exist anymore, just think stranger things. So I got a job selling Chachke's from a cart, but it was the 80s, so it was cool because everybody needed Chachke's. And it came time to cash my first check. I was so excited because it was enough for the deposit on these dance costumes, right? So I'm super thrilled and I don't have my own baby count. So my mom takes me to the grocery store to cash my check and I'm like this is amazing. And as we're walking in with my younger half brother, she says Sarah, the strawberries are on sale, can we get some? So I'm thinking of my costume, thinking of the strawberries. And I'm like, yes, we can do this. So I go to get my check cashed. She goes to get what I think are the strawberries, and I go to meet her in the checkout, the express checkout line, and she's not there. And I'm walking up and down the aisles and I'm like okay, and I finally see her in line with a cart full of groceries and it's like lunch meat for my brother's lunch and bread, his favorite breakfast cereal. There's milk, the damn strawberries are in the cart. And I'm standing there and I'm like I can pay for something I've wanted since I can remember, or I can buy food for my family, but I can't do both, and at the ripe old age of 16, that is one hell of a belief to take on. Except that, oh, don't. We all have that belief to some extent, and it carried me all the way through being the only woman in my family to go to college. I have 65 cousins, so that's no small feat. I left a little Sandy Utah, I moved to New York. I have this amazing corporate job. I have this beautiful glass office. I have a staff of 25. It's amazing, except I'm miserable and I'm said I worked with wonderful people, it wasn't that. But I'm standing there in my office, or sitting, rather, in my office, and I'm hearing the clock tick away the seconds of my life, and I'm like, well, I can't get that one back, I can't get that one back, I can't get that one back. And at that moment it's so wild. My daughter had just called me and said mommy, I miss you. And I had this moment where I remembered that moment in the grocery store and I was like, oh my God, I'm taking care of my family, but I'm not taking care of myself. I was like it was like one of those, like I don't feel like someone hit you on the back of the head with a baseball bat moment. It was like, oh my God, all of a sudden my whole life made sense, like I'd made a decision at 16 and made it real and that's how I was living my life. And I don't mean to leave people hanging and people get mad at me. I always forget this. That day I paid for the groceries. Everyone's always like what I'm like, I'm sorry. So I paid for the groceries that day and another woman in my community heard what had happened. It makes me cry. She got my costumes for me, which was amazing. And then in 2019, I got to hold a conference in Salt Lake City and I got to bring her up on stage and I said, for all of you who've heard my grocery store story, this is the woman who bought my costumes and it just meant so much. She actually passed away in 2020.

So it was like an amazing, like full circle moment.

But you know, bringing her up on the stage and I didn't mean to say this. I don't know if this happens to you, kare, but sometimes stuff just falls out of our faces and it happens to me. So you're like did I? Where'd that come from? It was amazing, but I was shatty there and realizing, even for me. Like you know, sometimes in business we tell our stories and we tell them. So often we can even get disconnected. I hope that never happens, but it can happen a little. So to have her up on that stage and all the people who know me from the East Coast flew out there and it was like no, this is real. This is the woman who changed my life and that had me lead to this is what happens when women have money. This is what we do with it. Yeah, and these are the lives we change with it. And had she not had money in her hands that day to help me, I couldn't be here helping you, and it was like. This moment of like, this really is why I do it. This is why I care so much that women learn how to sell. This is why I care so profoundly that we understand abundance is real and it's alive and we have access to it. Because when we live in the other world that's been created, that's filled with lies and illusions, it is heartbreaking. People lose their children, they lose their relationships, they lose their joy, they lose their lives right, like that moment that I was sitting in my office. What kind of life is that? We were not put here to sit in glass offices and stare at computer screens, like that's not what we were put here to do. And so when I have opportunities like this to really talk about it, I always it's so important to me that people know this is not like I didn't like pick up a book one day and decide, oh, I'm going to be here, this is good, yeah, this helps work. And it's so important to me that we have these conversations and that we take these ideas out there into the world and have a living from it. Right, create money and careers and salaries and health insurance in this crazy country where we need health insurance, and like we do this stuff that we need to do to take care of ourselves and our families, and that it's completely possible to do both.

Oh, that's a beautiful story. I'm so glad you're your neighbor lady. She was your neighbor or just another member of the community Was one of my closest friends, mom's Okay. And she I'm glad that she had the money, the resources, to do that for you. I know, and you're right, that's what women do when we have money, we take care of everyone else. It's true, we do.

We do she changed. She changed my life that day.

Yeah, that's incredible. Yeah, so you mentioned the lie, the lies, that world where people live in glass buildings and don't get to pick their kids up from school because they're not off till five and the kids get out at two, and the probably scarcity that we're all living in, tell me about how we should think differently about that.

Oh gosh so much in that. That is one of the best questions ever. There's a fantastic book it's called the Soul of Money by Lynn Twist, and I'm so excited. This book was like released in the early 90s, and I'm so happy to see her making a resurgence. I think she was just on Marie Forleo's podcast. I haven't listened to it yet in full disclosure, but I'm so happy to see this woman out and about because boy is her message amazing, and I think she frames it really well in that book. She talks about the three myths that keep us broke.

Right.

I can't pick up my kids because I have to pay the mortgage. It's like then why do you have a mortgage? What are we doing Right? It just doesn't make sense. And the myths are there's not enough, more is better, and this is just the way it is. I particularly disagree with the last one, yeah but I mean that's how this keeps going right. But you don't understand. I have a mortgage. You don't understand, I can't do that. That's for you, that's for other people. You don't get. That's where that belief is inserted.

So break those down. For me, there's not enough. That's not enough, that's my favorite. How is there enough?

My favorite thing I love to say to people is like go look at a garbage can at an amusement park and tell me there's not enough. There is so much food in there, there is so much liquid in there that could be used for so many people, and we can drop bombs within inches of where we need them to go. Oh, but we can't get food there, we can't get water there, we can't get medicine there. What are you talking about? That is a lie and there's more than enough. We have enough Now. The way that we're consuming it right now and the way we're dealing with it, we might destroy that, but there's enough right now. Right, it's kind of that idea of like, when I tell people like they get a bill that they can't pay, or surprise or something, and they're like, look, now, this is real and scarcity, I'm like take a breath, because you're not going to have the ideas for the generation of that revenue in that moment. Right, you're just not, because you're terrified, and rightly so. You get to have that freak out, be in it, experience it, because that's what will have you go through it, and I want you to lift your head up and I want you to notice everywhere that the sunshine is touching everywhere. Go, look outside of a window and I want you to see there is no scarcity out there. Take another deep breath, look at how much space there is, and I love doing this with people. My mom was an artist, which was amazing, anyway. So I asked her once. I was like how do you draw? Like my brain does not work that way, like I'm like no art, I'm like I don't know, it's magical, right. So I said how do you do? She said I look at the space in between. She would do portraits. She was working on eyelashes, literally. When I asked her this, I said how do you? She said, oh, I don't look at what I'm drawing, I look at the space around what I'm drawing. I mean not just that perspective shift will mess with you for days, like really, yeah, you're driving and you're like there's so much space.

I'm trying to get my head wrapped around it right now. Yeah, it's amazing.

Yeah, like, look at the space in between your hairs, in between your eyebrows, in between your hair and your neck. It's like wild. And that perspective shift goes from what we think is finite to what is infinite. And that little shift will start to have you think differently about that bill. In the moment I mean, we are talking real life. This is why I say it's not woo, because it's in the moment. Immediately, you'll be like, oh my God, I needed to call that guy Bob back. I, oh, that's right. And then boom, all of a sudden the bill's covered and it really does work. I've done this with so many people and the other thing I'll say is flip to the bottom of your text list and text the person on the very bottom oh, that's smart. Watch what happens. It's unbelievable, brilliant. Yeah, it's so fun. And it's fun too. I gotta tell you, someone once was like does that work? I said my highest today. That was a $56,000 text. I sent that one.

You know exactly what I'm going to be doing when I get off this call. Now, who is at the bottom of my text list? Is there a bottom? Even I don't know. Can I get there?

I don't know. Okay, so what was the second thing? Yeah, so that's there's not enough. We know now that's a lie.

Okay.

So I mean, there's not enough money. You just thought about it when you thought of your text list, right, yeah? And the other thing I'll say about that before we jump on to the next slide is that money will always come into your world through people. That's the only way money comes in is through other people. So anytime you get worried there's not enough, I always invite people to go sit in a Starbucks and look at the amount of money flying around this planet all the time, and what you have to do is jump into the flow of that by offering something that people need. And that's simple not easy, but very simple and that really is at the heart of business. If you can help someone, you can jump into the flow of abundance in about 2.2 seconds. So don't ever let anyone tell you there's not enough. There is so much. It's a matter of shifting your perspective to see it. I like that Jump into the flow. Yeah, just to go sit in a coffee shop. That's a good visual too. Oh yeah, kills me. I'm like dude, there's been like $20,000 flew around this joint in three seconds, like what is happening. It's amazing. Yeah, that's so cool, okay. So the other one is that more is better. This one is, I think, particularly malicious because it won't let you relax. So it doesn't matter if you've made $10 million right, because $10 million and one is better. So it's like too bad, glad you're happy, suck it up because you need to make more. It's like there's no end. And it's also not true. I work with people who are like I really wanted a bigger house, and then they're like who the hell is cleaning this sucker?

Yes, I have like 1600 square feet and I don't want another square foot more Not another one Right, right, and that is living in the truth.

So the lie is more is better, right, and it's so simple to get caught up in it. There's like this unbelievably powerful collective, unconscious right and you can feel when someone's feeling that needy, like, oh, you got any back? Oh, my God, I love your shit, like you can feel that conversation and it's so easy to just get sucked right into it. That's another great moment to find space or take a breath. Another thing I say to people is wiggle your toes. No one knows you're doing it, but it'll pull you right back into reality and you'll be like I actually don't want any of that stuff. You're gonna come actually really good, so fun. But this idea has us working ourselves to death. It has us breaking up relationships, it has us overeating, it has us over drinking, it has us over smoking. Right, all the people and we all know we all have vices, we all have ways that we cope, and that heart of that need to cope is the myth that more is better.

So just wiggle our toes, or is there to kind of ground ourselves? And two seconds.

Yeah, I love it, I do it. I'll tell people to do it in meetings, when they're nervous before you get on a sales call, or if somebody says something on a call and you're like yeah. I don't know how to answer that right, you get nervous, we'll go your toes.

Yeah, I've noticed that when I get that kind of feeling like, oh, I need that thing too, if I wait long enough, it passes. And that's the hardest part I think for me is human design helped me a little bit with that, because any kind of big decision I'm a generator and so I'm, and I have the emotional waves, so I'm supposed to wait 24 hours before making any big decisions, right, and I have noticed that if I wait 24 hours I'm like, yeah, I don't really want to spend my money on that, I don't really want that and I don't have room for it in my house anyway, that kind of thing, or in space in my life or whatever it is. But I'm patient.

And you could make space for it, right?

The idea is actually yeah, we prioritize whatever is important we make space for whatever we prioritize in our lives.

I love that, I love that, yeah, and I mean the tongue wiggling. It just pulls you out of that, out of your head, heads, yeah, yeah, and I mean how many of us just live in our heads.

I'm guilty 100%. It's a little bit scary when I think about how much time I'm in my head versus in my body.

Yeah, no, you're right. So I was just sitting here thinking like, yeah, that's about right, but the toe wiggling works, um, and it works. I work a lot.

I'll try it.

You've gone through physical traumas and things like that, and the toe wiggling works there too, like getting back in your head or remembering the moment or something that, like it can happen. That way, you know, you just wiggle your toes, oh, that's right, I'm safe, and part of that more is better, more is better feels so unsafe to us because you can't get there, there's no end, but you can't write. It doesn't even matter where you, because more is better, so you can't. That is scary and it causes fear, it causes anxiety. So wiggling your toes pulls you back down to the ground as you go. Oh, I'm actually safe, I'm good, and it just reminds you of the truth, not the lies, not the distractions. The truth, you're okay, and it's as simple as wiggling your toes, always accessible and free.

Yeah, you know I'm. I'm equating it to this feeling Like when you go on a hike for the first time on a trail you've never been on, or a mountain bike ride or something and you don't know like you're suffering a little bit. It's hard work and but you don't know where the end is. And the second time you do that right, it's always a hundred times easier because you know how much harder you have to work to get to where you need to go. But with that mindset you're talking about where more is always better. There's no end, you're never done with that. That like kind of just low grade suffering, which is probably another myth, that it's hard, that it should be hard, yeah, it's brutal.

It's brutal, it's exhausting, yeah, and totally unfair. Yeah, you can't get out, yeah, so we want to pull ourselves. It's almost like I kind of envision this under the chair, like there's this cloud of madness right, that we all kind of stand up and stick our heads in and we walk around like that's normal, and wiggling your toes can help you pull out from under that cloud to see the truth.

Got so many good visuals Cool.

Yeah, I don't know. I don't know where. That again, I don't know where they come from. It's the artist.

Your mom. The artist is coming out in your mental visuals is where it's coming out.

Oh, I love that. It's brilliant. It's so kind. I'm going to have to tell her that I love it.

Manifest how it wants to manifest.

Come through me, girl, it's all good. Yeah, it's so fun yeah. So, those are the first two, and then the last one is just this is just the way it is, and that allow. That gets everybody off the hook. It's not my fault, I just. I have to get more of it, so I'm going to give up my whole life to do that, and that's the way it is.

Is that just a learned helplessness from being a child or living in a place where it's hard to get things done on a grand scale, or it's a really great question.

I hadn't ever thought of it as learned helplessness, but absolutely I mean it is. You're trained as a child. Well, that's nice. I want a million dollars too, right, like that kind of an attitude of like, yeah, how nice kid grow up and hear it in in different phrases. Like that Like, oh, it must be nice to have a hobby as your husband. Rich, like that's, because the way it is, lady is the only way to make money is to do X, y, z, you've got to sell your soul. Or we can also hear it in money myths, right, like rich people are bad. That's just the way that is. Well, what if we get money in the hands of a whole bunch of incredible people All of a sudden? That won't be the way it is.

That's what I'm saying, Right yeah. That's what I'm saying, like we need to just tip the scale here, right, right, yeah, I mean, think about the other things our parents say to us when we grow up that just kind of get lodged in our subconscious and function on a daily basis Like it's time to grow up and be responsible. You can't live like you know. You're living in a fantasy world.

And you can hear the underlying myth yeah, this is the way it really is and you were trying to buck the system and that's making me uncomfortable, please stop. Yeah, and that's what's at work there. And we really, you know, we know, right, as coaches, right, that human behavior never alters because of shame or anger. It will only ever alter out of love and compassion. And so, as we ourselves are working through these three myths to shed them, the love and compassion we give ourselves because we were born into these, this is embedded in the human psyche as real, right, it's kind of like the matrix I don't know if you know this, but he's actually wrote it for that reason of like, you need to unplug. This isn't real life. Unplug and see what's actually happening. And so this human psyche that we are born into, and then we start inhaling from second one, it's not our fault and it's not their fault. It's been here and, for whatever reason, our psyche has not caught up. But that doesn't mean we can't help. And so, as we do that, we, we pour love on this, we pour compassion on this. And so, if you blow it and freak out and go buy a bag because everybody else had it, there's no shame, there's no anger, there's a lot of compassion about like, oh my gosh, I must have been really scared, I must have been really hurting, because, wow, right, and it's almost like how would you talk to yourself if you were three? And you did that, right, you did that thing. It's like you wouldn't scream at a child the way we scream at ourselves, and I know people you know in the coaching industry are like be kind to yourself Kind of. But it's a lot deeper than that. It's about really connecting and understanding and having compassion for the brutality of this world. And it doesn't mean we can't undo it Again. I'm not saying this is the way it has to stay at all. I think this is totally workable. But we also have to tell the truth about the depths to which it exists. Because if we try to fix that real fast with great, like really great manifestations or affirmations, that'll work for a little bit, but until we're honest about how deep it grows, we can't get to the root of it and really start to heal. And it is my perspective that this is a healing work, it's not just an altering work. And I always say we coaches know we're doing a great job when we start to alter human behavior, if we can have someone actually change their behavior and take our life in a different way. Yes, oh my god, amazing. And the only way to do that is to get to the deep rooted healing that needs to take place. That wasn't even put there by us, and that's the hard part in really healing through. This is all the compassion that's needed.

I see it play out so often when I'm having conversations with other entrepreneurs. We just had a mastermind a few minutes ago about when we ended up talking about launching and everybody's launching something. So I have to launch something and I can't just keep it open, I have to launch it. And then there's all the pressure to do all the social media and be everywhere all at once, and it's like we're always looking outside of ourselves instead of inward to see what we need. Which brings me back to the intuitive business coach aspect of what you're doing, and I'd love you to touch on that, if you will, for just a minute, because I love. I don't know exactly what that means, but there's an idea there that very, very much appeals to me.

I love that. That's so great. Yeah, I want that. I don't know what it is. I don't know what it is, but I want it.

Yes.

That's so great. So I have actually just recently OK, komono Open have come to understand I'm a highly sensitive. I didn't even know this term. I did not know what that was. Someone was like you are, I'm like, I am not. I was like, nah, you can't make it. But no, I truly am off the charts, highly sensitive. I'm like what, and what I've started to understand in that is what it takes for us to manage our own nervous systems, our own sense like literally physiologically to manage that well, but also emotionally. And what I found is what launches do to people. Listen, I launched too. There's an idea. I have a affiliate Like we do great stuff, I love it, it's so much fun. And when it's not, I don't do it.

I'm not knocking launches, by the way. Anyone who does launches, who's listening? I'm just saying it's not the answer to everything all the time.

I'm applauding. Yeah, no, it's true and the real. I'm sorry I went a long way to answer your awesome short question, but the reason we pick launches is because I think they're the thing that can cause the most stress. People do them just because they do it. Like you said, it's like buying a bag. It's like but, everybody's ah, ah, ah. It's like maybe absolutely, that might be absolutely the most viable option and maybe what you need to do is journal every day for 30 minutes for 30 days. Maybe we do that instead, and when I've assigned that to clients or I've had it assigned to me, I cannot believe what happens, and I don't again. I love my Sundata, so I don't mean to sound magical, but it is a mind blowing what starts to happen. The last time I did that, this is going to. You guys are going to be like what. The last time I did that, I had a thought that actually ended up generating $500,000 a month from journaling.

That doesn't sound out of the realm of possibility to me. No launch.

No craziness, no madness. There was something I had on the shelf I'd forgotten about and because I was journaling, not busy launching, not keeping up with everybody at that moment, Rather, I was looking at like, wow, what would it mean for me If I was able to? Right now, one of my big goals is to buy my father's house for him, right. So I was like, what would it be like for me if I was able to do that? What would that mean for me in my life? What would change for me? How would I view myself? How would I view the world? And I'm journaling on that and all of a sudden I remembered I had a course and I never released it. It's amazing, of course, too, Like hello.

Well, when you're on a treadmill or a hamster wheel like that and you can't slow down, your nervous system is constantly stressed out. You can't be like we talked about creative. Your nervous system has to be chill to be creative, to create whatever that next thing is. So hold on real quick. Do you journal by hand or do you type?

I journal by hand and I actually really like auto journaling. And I don't know Not everybody knows what that is you actually journal with your eyes closed. People are like you can do that by hand. I'm like I didn't say it was pretty. But I do find closing my eyes and journaling Listen, you guys, we've all been writing for so long. It's not like you write on your face or your desk or like you know where the page is right, like you write like a person. It's not as easy to read as the part where I write down the question I'm asking myself that day. You can always tell once I close my eyes. But I find closing my eyes. It keeps me in that realm of total connection to the best parts of me. Some people call it God, some people call it the universe, but whatever that highest energy source is, I don't have access to it. For me personally as well, when my eyes are open.

I love that idea.

Yeah, it's really powerful and I only do it for about 10 minutes a day. I just set a little timer for 10 minutes and that's it. But it generates a ridiculous amount of ideas and revenue and plans accidentally Like I didn't start journaling that to come up with that idea. The idea came back to me because I was calm and I was happy and I was focused on abundance. And so that's how I say tapping into that power, wiggling your toes in a moment when everyone else is launching. It's like whoa, do I actually want to do that right now? Let me sit back for a hot second and let me check in with me, like you just said. I love how you said that, cara. That was brilliant. It's so great that everybody's launching. That's awesome. Let's wish everybody so much luck. I hope there's so much money made by all these killer, amazing people Like go get them. And for you right now, that might not work. Maybe your nervous system is off or maybe you're dealing with something in your family, or maybe you've got enough that you've got to fulfill on right now and you need to do that well. And so it's like really taking that moment by wiggling your toes, to step back. Journal read pause, chill for a second and then it might come back like no, that is absolutely the best next step for me. But at least then you know, and I think that intuitive piece of us is the part of us we shut down the most often to make sure everyone else is comfortable. Yeah, and the reason I call myself an intuitive business coach is when I teach other people how to tap back into that intuition. But also, I'll have it sometimes too. I'll be like are you mad at your dad? And they're like how the flip, did you know? I'm like I don't know how I knew. I'm not going to pretend, I know that scares people when you're little.

When you're maybe a little bit. What are they? Claire Cognizant and we probably all are to a certain extent right. We've got our intuition, we just know things sometimes. But in a world where facts and logic reign supreme, that not only scares adults, it doesn't make sense, it doesn't math when you just know things. And so, yeah, you're right. We shut that down like too sweet to make room for ourselves to be accepted and not feared. Yeah.

And you know it's amazing. You say it's not math, which I love. That's just gorgeous. But there actually is a term for this, now as we systematically shut down our access to ourselves, and it was coined by Terry Cole in the book called Boundary Boss. I don't love the title of that book, but boy do I love that book no, but I love that book.

I love that book. It's so good.

I always tell people I'm like don't judge it by its title. It's amazing, it's a good book. It's really good. But high functioning codependence is what that's called, right, where it's like when we're little, going back to our parents again, right? So when we're little and we have emotions or we're upset or we want to do something and it makes other people uncomfortable, the response is please stop doing that. You're making me uncomfortable, and we learn very young through messages like oh, don't cry, where's my pretty girl? Right, Things like that, like your emotions.

Nobody likes a sour pose. Put a smile on your face. There you go, don't?

stop having feelings. Be a robot. You're making me uncomfortable, it's better for everyone, yeah, shish, shish, shish, right. And then we have all the women right now in the world. So this is one of the reasons I work exclusively with women, but doing all of the invisible, unpaid work that makes society work and we keep doing that because of high functioning codependence, right? People are like, oh my God, you're so amazing, you're killing it, like all that crazy stuff we tell each other and it's perpetuated by other women. Again, going back to the myths, we've been breathing this for so long we don't even realize we do it. And if you think you don't do it, one of my favorite scenarios is school lunches in my little town. Moms I say moms volunteered to do lunches, right To help. And if there's ever a father who walks in, every woman goes oh my gosh, oh my gosh. Meanwhile there's a woman standing next to him who's been there every day for three months and they don't even see her. And so that's why I say it's perpetuated by us, not because we're bad and wrong, we've just been in it for so long and we really need the support of each other to say you are freaking awesome for being here every day. Do you know how amazing? Do you know? The school would fall apart if you weren't here. And if you ever don't want to do this anymore, you don't have to. If you decide you want to go do something else. I got your back that kind of stuff to be there with each other because, honestly, if you stand in fear long enough, it stops smelling, right, and that's kind of where we are. We're all standing in it doing all of the invisible and paid work that makes everybody else's lives happy, right, and that comes from high functioning codependence, which comes from shutting down your access to your intuition. It's a really long answer.

It's so subtle that sometimes you don't. Recently, the stuff that's starting to stand out to me and this is my poor husband. He's a good man, people, and he's grown up in a society where women do the mental unpaid labor. So I'm keeping track of the dentist's appointments and the doctor's appointments, and where's my belt and where's my wallet. And oh, I forgot to check jury duty before I went to bed last night. Can you snap a picture of it and send it to me at work, like all of those little things they kind of add up and they take up space in our brains that we could be using to create something different or better for ourselves. Yep, that's exactly right, and we have to shut down that part of ourselves that says this doesn't feel right, like why am I?

doing all this stuff. That's exactly right. Or I'll say to women whenever I say invisible, unpaid work on a podcast, I get an email in a couple of days. I was making the bed and I was like, oh my God, sarah, what we said, the invisible unpaid work. I'm like, yes, that's it Right, I love it because people start to wake up. But that's the invisible unpaid work. Right, as the director of home operations, basically right. But it comes with as an afterthought that no one even notices. And again, that's not like men are bad, women are great.

No, not at all. It's just been set up this way and we're just on autopilot. Like you'll love this, my husband has a job, finally, where he can go buy the grocery store on the way home. It's there, he can do it. And so I'm like hey, guess what? I have ADHD. I'm not good at grocery shopping. I'm not doing it anymore. And so we have this fight for a little while. And then he agrees to go to the grocery store and do it, and he goes, I'll go on the way home. Can you make me a list? And I'm like are you freaking, kidding me? No, I'm not making you a list. That's the hardest part. That's the hardest part.

Because the list includes meal planning.

Yes, I have to look and see what we have, what we need. Anyway, I digress.

No, but it's really indicative of how we have been trained. Right to your question like what the heck does an intuitive business coach do? My job is to help you tap back into your intuition, which, through moments like this, we lose access to. Yeah, and it's so weird. You're like how is that connected? It's because you're shutting parts of yourself down. You know, there was this great meme I saw it was probably like a year ago or something. A woman posted in her stories on Instagram and it was like my writing coach told me that I need to spend four hours writing before my day job and four hours writing when I get home. And that's when I realized he had a wife. I was like, oh my God, but I mean, how terrible is that? And I used to, when I was incorporated in my beautiful glass office, I'd forget something and be like damn it, I need a wife. And I was like how terrible is that? Yeah, and Sarah, what? And she said that's how great. And that's what I mean by like we have got to have so much compassion and love because for each one of us it is so deeply ingrained and none of us are special. It's not like one of us can be like well, I'm totally healed and it's over Like people fall in love with each other for a while. We're talking about eons of coding, right Of like mental coding. Yeah, we are existing today because of and we really got to work out. We need to be there for each other and so much love, so much compassion, so much kindness, and that is really the only way to access this and to really alter our behavior to the point where it's like oh, nobody made a list or went shopping.

Cool, how should we what?

are you doing about? That how should we fix that. That's right, yeah, that's our plan here. Yeah, and it's about the conversations, right, and the questions of like look, you're an amazing human, I'm an amazing human. There's a way for us to deal with this. So we're going to deal with this, yeah, and we can do this together. And I just want to know I just learned this about myself and it's pretty freaking amazing, and I don't think you would want me to feel that way. I don't want to feel this way and we don't want to role model this for the kids either, right? So there's this and of course, I'm speaking traditional family, but it always happens. There's always one partner, it does not matter what the relationship looks like. There's always one partner that takes on more of the invisible, unpaid work, and that's fine as long as it's a conversation, because that work needs to get done. And just because we don't pay for it doesn't mean it's not valuable. It's incredibly valuable, right? So that's us reworking our own brains to appreciate it more, to be honored when we do it, right, and to honor ourselves when we do it, not to have it be like something we have to rush around and do or we're bad.

It feels like I'm connecting the dots to the things that you're saying. It feels like a lot of this rushing around for women is preventing us from wiggling our toes as often as we need to wiggle our toes. And when I say wiggle, let me make sure I understand. Wiggling your toes doesn't necessarily mean literally wiggling your toes. It can, but your 10 minute journaling every morning, that's wiggling your toes.

Correct.

So you're taking some time to stop, to slow down and to reconnect with yourself, to ground into whatever it is you need to ground into in the moment, but not just to keep going and pushing and doing the thing in that moment.

And that's hard in a society where more is better right. There's never enough that our value is based on how productive we are, which is also a lie, right? It's not the fact that we're breathing and that we can love. We are worthy of anything and everything the universe has to offer, because we're alive.

So and it's got its everywhere. Yesterday I wasn't feeling fantastic, so I read a book most of the day and my husband came home what'd you do today? And I felt like I had to make up a story. I felt like I had to be like, well, I did walk the dog, like there's all these things that I should have done when the truth was nothing really had to happen yesterday. So I just went with what I was feeling. But that's not a Monday morning.

That's right. That's right. You're supposed to be productive. Yeah, that's when we know when we're in that, versus when you're joyously creating and you have so much energy and it's wonderful. That's when you know you're in that zone of accessing the highest version of yourself. That is honoring your instinct. You're feeling that in that moment and so when we're looking at, should I launch, should I not launch? What should I do? It's like I don't know. You've got to tap into your intuition. I always say to people I do you, so you can go do your business. Maybe that's the deal is like. Let's get you reconnected to you, because the world has systematically disconnected you from you and told you to shut down every part of you that is creative, that is emotional or that is uncomfortable for someone else, and that's actually not going to work anymore.

Yeah, you get to a point it just doesn't work anymore. The coping mechanisms that have been covering up the dysfunction for so long. It's just not working anymore. Wrap this back to the data for me so that I can sleep tonight. Yeah.

So I always say the key to true abundance is data. People go bless you, yeah, no. So when I'm talking about data, I am talking about any feedback. I love me a spreadsheet. I am a spreadsheet junkie. I love tracking our open rates and our click-through rates and how well our ads are doing, and I love tracking the way different colors perform. I do, I'm such a. That is kind of cool, yeah.

It's like banana. I'm like the AV testing is fine.

I don't understand why the red one works and the black one doesn't work. What is happening?

Why are people the way they?

are the ugly ad one again Amazing, right, so cool. So the key to abundance is data. What I mean by that is there's so many times in business where we have I say this with love childlike thinking, and that childlike thinking is the next launch is going to fix it. If I could just want, if I just could just get one thing, it's going to be all fixed. This is the thing, people, I'm going to do. This Right, that's sort of that's not how business actually works. This works when you get the right solution in front of a person with a problem. Literally, that's it Again simple, not easy, simple. And so our job as business owners is to look at the data that is coming back from our offer of a solution to someone's problem, so that when we put it out there into the world and this is true from beautiful candles to great sweaters, to a new sheet set, to a $50,000 coaching program, I don't care what it is You've got to get the right solution in front of the right person at the right time. And in order to do that, when you launch something, when you release something, you look at what comes back, and what most people do is they go see it didn't work. And my question is what didn't work? What part of it didn't work? Where did you lose people? Why do we think we lost them there? What tiny levers? I would say that your 2% change away from your best life, right? What tiny levers can we change? Can we work on in order to try it again? And maybe we make an 80% difference with that little tiny change and maybe we don't, but we're not going to know until we try it again and we get data. And I get believe, with so much love and so much compassion when someone says I have to make a million dollars and 20 minutes. But really, when people are in that moment, they're like, dear God, someone turn on a spigot somewhere with money. I know that can feel very, very challenging in a moment like that and that is living in scarcity. Because, if you understand, when you get the data. So I'm going to use a basic funnel that a lot of people have in business, right? So let's say, you have a social media post, you tell people to take action to a lead magnet, right? And the lead magnet starts a nurture sequence that goes into a sale sequence. So and if anybody didn't follow me, I told it's so cool, we'll explain, right. So you do a social media post that says hey, come get my top 10 things to do with your cat when it's shedding too much. I have no idea, right? Okay, so you do that thing and they go, and they go on the landing page. Well, a landing page for a lead magnet should be, I say, in air quotes, right, what we want it to be is at 50%, half of the people who land on that page we want them to put in their email address so they can figure out the 10 best ways to help their shedding cat. Okay, if that's not happening, that's what's not working. But you have to know that. So then we go and we look at the page and we tweak the copy and maybe it's not the top 10 things you do. It's like the three easiest ways to get your cat to say I don't know. You start tweaking it, you start changing it, you put it back out. You're like, oh my God, it's 60%. That means you just blue the lid off so you don't have 60% of people there. And then they don't open the email. When you give them a thing, well, dang it. Well, I can't sell to them if they don't open the email. So, okay, great, let's look at the subject line. Now we start tweaking the subject line and we work on the subject and tell the open rates where we want it. And then, oh, they opened it, but now they're not clicking. Got it, we got to work on the click and so this is the unsexy work, kick-ass business. I mean, you want an abundant life. It's in these details, because there is no secret sauce to business. All those formulas, everybody says it's all bologna, she said, trying not to say bad words, right, like there's lots of bad words. There's nothing real there. What's real is you getting in and understanding what your people need to hear in order to take the action that will serve them, not serve you, to take the action that will serve them. And if you can get in there and get that data, you will have the most abundant life you can possibly have. And those little tweaks none of them take more than 10 minutes, but people don't do them because it's not sexy. It's not taking a picture of me drinking coffee on Instagram, talking about how hard I'm working. It's like nope, because that's not where the money is. It's just not there. Nobody cares that. You're drinking coffee, working, you feel sexy, but what's actually sexy is figuring out where things have broken down so that you can become an expert about your people and sell to them properly in ways that work for them and serve them and help you create a living for you and your family.

Oh, so there's this other belief, then, about what business should be and what's sexy in business, and all these things that we think we should be doing. I love that you said that it's the unsexy stuff that's going to move the needle for you.

Yep, it's the stuff you do when no one else is watching and there are no deadlines and nobody knows but you that you are in the trenches tweaking three words to see if you can make a difference and change somebody's life with what you have to offer. But it's not going to come from another fancy launch If the fancy launch hasn't been investigated, if you don't know what you need to say, so the people go oh my, thank you so much for creating this. This is exactly what I need. I've been waiting for you. I get you know. I had somebody total side note, I swear to God, but it comes from the unsexy. I was so moved by this. But somebody just signed up for my abundance academy and I was so excited for her because she's just awesome, right. I'm like, oh, she's so on the cusp she's going to blow up. I'm so excited. She sent me flowers. She was like, thank you so much for creating. I know it's going to make me cry. I was like, thank you so much for creating this. I cannot wait to jump in. And I was like whose life is this? Like? This is the most amazing thing. But it's because I've taken the time to make sure I know her, and by her I mean my person, my people who are out there banging their heads against the wall, trying to be like everybody else. How come that Jack Wagon's making a million dollars, which meanwhile they're making a million, but they spent 1.5 to make a million, so don't worry Anyway, but this one over here, like, and they're comparing, and they're these gorgeous, beautiful souls who are so busy being high functioning, codependent and not listening to their intuition that they're not creating business plans that work.

I think that's what kills me so much about working with women entrepreneurs and wanting them to win is just knowing that everything is not as it seems and that we've bought into so much of this bullshit and that we have these solutions because we care and we want to fix something so fervently, and that we're operating on a lot of misinformation that's making it way more difficult than it has to be to get to where we want to go, to where we want to help people and to build this business. That gives us the freedom that we deserve to have in all this.

Yeah, yeah, and it's coming back home. It's really coming back to your own heart and your own mind, wiggling your toes in all the many ways. And remember you already have it all inside of you right now. It's a matter of accessing it and trusting it and letting it out.

Oh, my God, so many good nuggets in here, and I'm glad that you thank you for expounding on the data what that actually means, because I don't necessarily love me a spreadsheet, but I do like to tweak on things and that doesn't feel as scary as data.

I love it.

I love it.

Yes, I love it. Yes, but it is data right, it's all data.

Yeah, it's information. Yeah, information, information is power people, so this is perfect. Thank you so much for all this information today. Information, all of this was so good, so good. Where can everybody reach you or find you? Or you mentioned your Abundance Academy, yeah, yeah, I'm so excited. I feel a little bit about that.

For a second this was another one where people were like you know what I'd love from you? I'm like I don't know, tell me right. We created it. So the Abundance Academy is a year-long experience. It's not a program, it's not modules. That's not what it is. It's a weekly coaching call with me and also daily Voxer access to me, which we all love in a door.

I do love me some Voxer.

Oh, my God, we have so much fun. We have just way too much fun. And there's a group Voxer, for the Abundance Academy too, and what goes on in there can bring me to tears on a daily basis just the support and love. But the coaching lessons, right. So I will actually go in and teach and we teach on like the six human needs and what's driving your behavior, and you know someone will come in and be like listen, this just happened in my life. I don't know where the abundance is in this, right, and we'll break it down and by the end of the call, people are like holy crap, there really is abundance everywhere and it's about living that for a full year. I don't think it's possible under a year because there's so much programming we're up against, right, there's so much we've been living every single day. So a year inside this experience with other people who are fighting for the deprogramming of themselves as well, there's something so beautiful in this group and it really is about mastering your next level of abundance. And we have people you know the consistent 10K months everybody talks about for sure and we have other people who, in a couple months, an extra 100K had come into the business, and so this is what happens when we start focusing on different things. So that's the Abundance Academy, and once a year for six months, I run a sales mastermind and I love that. What happens in the mastermind? Obviously there's serious lessons with me. Nothing is prerecorded. There are all live lessons with me, so there's live coaching. I do have guest speakers as well, and it's all about the ins and outs of heart centered sales and really understanding and then taking six months to practice it right. Both of those programs come with a day long retreat, because that'll be a virtual retreat where we do business breakdowns and we look at data Right and we make plans together and that kind of thing. And then I have a handful of one on one clients.

Oh nice. So lots of opportunities, lots of places that people can find you and learn more from you if they want to, and then we'll include all the links to all of that. I will get the links from you, since I screwed up the link to get booked here, so we will remedy that. No mistakes, just opportunities. Thank you so much. I can't tell you how much I appreciate you coming and spending the time with me today. It means a lot.

I loved it. Thank you so much, thank you.

And there you have it Another inspiring conversation with another amazing woman entrepreneur. Before you go, a heartfelt thank you for being part of the Ravel family. Your support means the world and if you like what you heard, please consider giving your fellow entrepreneur a virtual hug by sharing this episode on social or with a friend. See you next time.